#65- 20 Words for Smalltalk & Networking

Welcome to Episode #65 of The Real Life English with Gabby Podcast.

 In this episode, you’ll learn 20 important English slang words, idioms, and phrasal verbs for small talk and networking. Small talk is typically one of the first things you learn in English because of how important it is in American culture. In this episode, you'll learn how to talk about small talk and networking and will be able to speak about this topic with confidence.

And the best part? You can get the free Study Guide to go with this episode! It’s packed with:

• All the new words and definitions
• Easy-to-follow example sentences
• The full transcript
• Practice exercises so you can actually use what you learn

Click HERE For the Study Guide

Listen now—and start speaking English confidently!

Get more English Lessons here:
Visit me on Instagram
Visit me on TikTok
Visit me on YouTube

Get the FREE Study Guide:

>> CLICK HERE <<

Transcript

[00:00:00] On this episode of the Real Life English with Gabby podcast, I'll be teaching you 20 phrasal verbs, slang words, and idioms for small talk and networking. You'll be learning vocabulary like chitchat, schmooze, mingle, shoot the breeze, and more. Let's get to it.
 Hey there. Welcome to the Real Life English with Gabby podcast. I'm your host, Gabby, your fun and friendly English teacher from the one and only New York City. My goal is to teach you phrasal verbs, idioms, and slang that will help you speak English confidently and understand real American conversations.
 Are you ready to improve your English skills? Let's jump right in.

Hey, hey, hey. Greetings from New York City. It is awesome to be back. I took four weeks off to have a baby, as most of [00:01:00] you know if you are regular listeners of the show. I had my third child, my first little girl. We named her Madison, and she was born early. She came two weeks early, and she was born on Saturday, August 16th. It was a very, very difficult delivery for me. Maybe one day I'll get into the details, but needless to say, I was in the hospital for six days. I had a few complications. Thankfully Madison was fine, so my husband and I and Madison were in the hospital for a long time. And our two older boys, Jacob, who is seven and a half, and Miles, who just turned four, they were with my parents.
 But you know, we are happy. We're home, we're both doing good. And you know, four weeks with no podcast, so thank you [00:02:00] for your patience. So I'm back, and there are a lot of good things coming up at the end of the year.

I am so glad that you are here for this episode. In this episode, episode number 65, we're gonna talk about something that might seem very simple, but it's actually one of the most important parts of communication in American culture, and that is small talk. I'm sure you've heard the phrase small talk before.
 Small talk is that light, casual, friendly conversation that people have in everyday situations. It's the "how's the weather" chat in the elevator, or "what are your weekend plans" with a coworker, or asking "how's it going?" quickly when you run into a [00:03:00] neighbor. To some people, small talk feels meaningless or unnecessary.
 I've had students who did not like small talk because in their culture, small talk is not so important. But here in the United States, small talk is actually a really important way to build connections with people, to make a good impression, and even to open doors in your career, in your social life. It's very, very important.
 The purpose of small talk is often not to share deep information, but it's to be polite, friendly, connect with other people, and as I just mentioned, it can lead to more opportunities for connection. So why is small talk so important?

See, in American culture, people often see small talk as a way to show friendliness, show politeness, show [00:04:00] openness. If you don't join in, you might come across as being cold, as being shy, maybe even rude, even if that's not who you are at all. Small talk helps you to get comfortable with someone before moving into deeper or more serious conversations.
 Just think about situations like meeting new coworkers, going to an event, or even chatting with someone at a party. These small conversations are how relationships typically begin. You don't usually jump right into politics or deep personal issues or questions, but instead, in American culture, we start light. We keep it casual.

So what do Americans usually make small talk about? Well, some of the most common topics are the weather. For [00:05:00] example, you're standing with someone and you say, "Beautiful day today, isn't it?" or "Terrible rain, huh?" We also talk about sports: "Hey, did you catch the game last night?" Notice we don't say "Did you see the game?" We can, but we say, "Hey, did you catch the game last night?" We also talk about work or school: "How's your week going so far?" If you're at work with someone or school: "How are you enjoying the class?" We talk about hobbies and free time: "What do you like to do on the weekends?" or "Hey, have you ever done yoga before?"
 And of course we love talking about food: "This coffee is amazing. Have you tried it? Have you tried the new pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks?" Of course, you'll hear very common expressions too, like, "How's it going?" "What's up?" "Hey, long time no see." These aren't always questions people expect [00:06:00] answers to. They're more like friendly conversation openers that lead to conversation.

Now, as I mentioned before, small talk is a lot about being polite, right? Like if someone says, "Hey, you enjoying the weather today?" and someone just says "Yes," and they don't really respond, it's seen as being rude. But small talk can actually help you professionally.
 This is where we're gonna talk about networking, which is the other topic of today's podcast. If you don't know what networking means in this context, it's the activity of meeting people, talking to them, and building relationships for professional or career purposes. Networking is kind of like starting small talk with someone, but there's a purpose behind it. Networking can happen at events, it can happen at work, it can happen [00:07:00] online, it can even happen in an elevator. The goal with networking is to create a connection that's gonna help you to form opportunities and to create opportunities.
 Networking is a very, very common thing in American culture, where you are used sometimes to connect with other people, you're used to connect someone with an opportunity. It's a very common thing here, and I'm sure it's very common in your country as well.

So in today's episode, you're gonna learn words that we use when we talk about small talk and networking.

Alright. Now, before we get into the word list for today, I just wanna remind you that there's a study guide waiting for you that will help you use these words with confidence and in natural ways. In order to get that study guide that includes practice activities, by the way, click the link in the episode [00:08:00] description and it'll send you the folder that has all of the study guides in it so that you can access them anytime you want.

Alright. As I mentioned, in today's episode you are going to learn 20 phrasal verbs, slang words, and idioms.
 First we have: break the ice, hit it off, come across or come across as, open up, chat up, cut in, stick around, chit chat, schmooze, mingle, shoot the breeze, rub elbows, talk shop, put out feelers, strike up a conversation, to be in the loop, to be out of the loop, word of mouth, read the room, water cooler talk.

Before we get into the story, I also wanna say one more thing. When we talk about small talk or having small talk, [00:09:00] we use the verb make. So we say, "Let's make small talk." We don't really say "have small talk" or "do small talk." We say "make small talk." I know this is kind of weird because usually make is connected to creating things or forcing someone, like to make someone do something, but we use make small talk.

Alright, now we are gonna get into the story. If you are a regular listener, you already know what to do while I'm reading the story. But if you're new, what I want you to do is listen to the words and try to hear the real-life context that they're used in. You're gonna use these context clues to try and see if you can figure out the definitions without using a dictionary or Google. Then after the story, we're going to go through all of the definitions and example [00:10:00] sentences.

Here we go.
 Last Friday evening, there was a big networking event at a university. It was full of people who wanted to meet, share ideas, make connections, and maybe even make new friends. One of the attendees to the networking event was Layla, who was an architect from Egypt who was attending university in New York.
 At first, she was really nervous because she didn't know anyone at the event. To break the ice, she sat next to someone and asked them, "So, what do you think of the food here tonight?" The question worked. The man, Mateo from Mexico, smiled and they hit it off right away. Layla didn't wanna come across as being too serious, so she kept the [00:11:00] conversation light, but soon she felt comfortable enough to open up about her job, her studies, and her dream projects.
 On the other side of the room was Anaya. She was trying to chat up a manager who worked in her field. She was just about to ask a question when another man named Paul cut in and started talking. Anaya decided that even though she wasn't the one speaking, she was gonna stick around and wait for her turn.

Meanwhile, groups of people were having friendly chit-chat near the snack table. Some of them were trying to schmooze with important business leaders. Others preferred to mingle, moving from group to group just to shoot the breeze. Mateo wanted to rub elbows with people in the tech industry. [00:12:00] So he walked over to another group. Soon everyone started to talk shop. Mateo was happy, but for Layla, it was a little too technical because it wasn't her field. She decided to put out some feelers by asking, "Does anyone here also enjoy photography?" That question helped her strike up a conversation with Omar, a photographer in New York City. Later in the evening, Anaya finally got a chance to talk to the manager. She wanted to be in the loop about new job opportunities at his company. She didn't wanna be out of the loop again like she had been when her company announced promotions last year. She was tired of being out of the loop. She knew that connections were extremely important in finding your dream job. By the end of the night, a lot of connections were made, and everyone agreed [00:13:00] that word of mouth was the best way to learn about new opportunities. Layla also learned about how important it is to read the room. Some people wanted serious business talk, while others just wanted to make casual and fun connections. A few days later, back at her office, Layla actually had some water cooler conversations with her coworkers, and through this she learned about some big opportunities at her company. This led her to applying to a new position. She was extremely excited at the skills that she had learned at the networking event because it might lead her to grow at her company and maybe it would open big doors for her in the future.
 The end.

Alright. Now let's talk about definitions and some new examples. First off, we have the idiom to break [00:14:00] the ice. You've probably heard another form of this in class if your teacher says, "Hey, let's do an icebreaker," which is the noun form. To break the ice is to start a conversation in a friendly way with someone you don't know well. So to break the ice, usually you either have some kind of small talk or you find a way that's very casual and friendly to start a conversation with someone. For example: To break the ice, she told a funny story at the beginning of the meeting.

Next up, we have the expression to hit it off. Hit it off you probably have heard in a relationship context, because this is how we use it as well. Hit it off is to quickly feel a connection with someone or to quickly become friendly. Sometimes we say you feel chemistry with someone right away. For example: I met Diego yesterday [00:15:00] and we really hit it off. We're gonna hang out this weekend.

Next up, we have a phrasal verb: come across. You may have heard the phrasal verb come across used to talk about finding something, like "We were walking down the street and we came across a really great restaurant." But as you know, many phrasal verbs have more than one meaning, and so in this context, to come across or come across as means to make a certain impression on other people. For example: She comes across as very confident in interviews, or she comes across as being very confident in interviews. Meaning that this is the impression, this is the idea that someone gave you about their personality.

Next up, we have another phrasal verb: open up. Open up means to share personal thoughts or feelings with someone. Of course, you can say, "Hey, can you open up?" meaning, can you unlock [00:16:00] the door and open the door? But in this context, it's to open up emotionally and share personal thoughts, personal feelings. You share deeper information. So this is a little bit deeper: first we have small talk, and then we open up to deeper things.

Next up, we have the phrasal verb chat up. To chat someone up is to talk to someone in a friendly way, sometimes a flirty way, like in a relationship: "Oh, he was chatting her up, trying to get her phone number." For example: He tried to chat up all the new students at the party.

Next, we have the phrasal verb cut in. Cut in is to interrupt someone's conversation. So two people are having a conversation, and then a third person just cuts in. They just interrupt the conversation. Usually this is a very rude thing to do, but also very normal in American culture. For example: I [00:17:00] was talking to Sarah when Mark suddenly cut in.

Next up, we have stick around, another phrasal verb. This is to stay in a place and not leave. So someone might say, "Hey, are you gonna stick around for the after party?" Or maybe your coworker is asking you if you wanna go for drinks after work: "So hey, you gonna stick around?" For example: Let's stick around after the meeting and talk to the speaker.

Next up, we have slang: chitchat. This is light, casual conversation, and you'll notice the word chat is like talk, have conversation, but chitchat is slang because it's just light, casual conversation. For example: We had some chitchat while waiting for the train.

Next up, we have a really fun word to say: schmooze. S-C-H-M-O-O-Z-E. Schmooze [00:18:00] is to talk to people in a friendly way, but you have a motive, you have a goal, and this is to make some kind of social or business connection. For example: At the party, he tried to schmooze with the company's CEO. Meaning you want to appear friendly, but really your goal is to make some kind of business or social connection. You're schmoozing.

Next up, we have the verb mingle. Mingle is to move around, talk to different people. So you're not with one group the whole night—you're here, then you're here, then you're here. You're talking to different people, you're mingling, you're mixing. For example: Guests were mingling and enjoying snacks before the dinner started.

Next up, we have an idiom, and it's shoot the breeze. Now let me tell you about this idiom real quick. To shoot the breeze means to have a casual, relaxed [00:19:00] conversation. But this is a very popular idiom that you'll hear from my parents' generation. People who are millennials, Gen X, maybe people, I'd say 45, 50 and under—we don't really use this. I've never used this in my life. I've had to explain it because it's in a lot of TV shows or movies or in textbooks. But I personally don't use this, and I don't really hear people my age using this. But the older generation uses this. So you'll definitely hear this in American society, but you don't have to use it if you don't want to. For example: We sat on the porch and shot the breeze all afternoon.

Next up, we have a really cool expression, and that's to rub elbows. If you don't know, the elbow is where your upper arm and lower arm meet. It's the part that can bend your arm. It's the pointy bone. To rub elbows is to meet and socialize with important or [00:20:00] interesting people. It's a really cool expression. For example: She loves events where she can rub elbows with famous people. So if my friend works on a movie set and he invites me to a party with people from the movie, I'm gonna be like, "Ooh, I'm rubbing elbows with celebrities."

Next up, we have the expression to talk shop. This is also a really cool expression. You will never see this taught in a textbook, but we use it all the time, and you'll definitely hear this in TV shows, movies, etc. To talk shop is to discuss work-related topics outside of work. So "Let's talk shop." This means we're gonna talk about something work-related, but you're not at work—we're at dinner. "Guys, I don't wanna talk shop. Let's talk about something fun." For example: Even at dinner, they couldn't stop talking shop.

Next up, we have put out feelers. This is a really cool expression as [00:21:00] well. This is to ask questions to see how people respond and to see how people feel about an idea. So if I have an idea, but I want to see how people are gonna respond first, I'm gonna put out feelers and just ask. So if I wanna go on vacation with a group of my friends, I might say, “Hey, did you see on Instagram that group of people that went on vacation together? I wonder what that's like.” See what they say. I'm putting out feelers. For example, he put out feelers to find out if his coworkers wanted to start a new project.

Next up, we have the expression to strike up a conversation. This is a good one. Strike up a conversation means to begin talking to someone. We use the phrasal verb strike up with conversation. For example, I struck up a conversation with the woman sitting next to me on the bus.

Next, we have to be in the loop and to [00:22:00] be out of the loop. To be in the loop—we've talked about this before. I think we were talking about gossiping, spreading information. To be in the loop means to be included in communication or decisions. People are updating you, they're including you. For example, please keep me in the loop about the new project.

To be out of the loop is the opposite, and it means to not be included. In fact, you are excluded in communication or decisions. No one is updating you, no one is including you. For example, I felt out of the loop when I heard about the changes at the last minute.

Next up is the idiom word of mouth. Word of mouth is information that's spread by people talking to each other. For example, the café became popular through word of mouth, not social media. So they always say that word-of-mouth advertising is the best form of advertising for any company. So you can [00:23:00] pay for expensive billboards, expensive commercials, expensive ads on social media, but really, ultimately, the best form of advertising is word of mouth. And in fact, at one of the schools that I teach at, Kaplan International, I always meet students who say, “Oh yeah, I'm at Kaplan because my cousin studied here two years ago.” And sometimes I even have students who are like, “Gabby, do you remember Massimo from Italy? He's my friend and he told me to come here.” And so word-of-mouth advertising is the best. You can probably think of people who recommended things directly, and you are more likely to go to that place or use that service than just from seeing an ad on Instagram.

Next up, we have the idiom to read the room. This is a really, really, really popular expression, and I'm so happy that I get to teach this to you [00:24:00] because it is very good to know. Read the room is to understand the mood or feelings of people in a situation. Somebody is crying—you are not gonna go up and start talking to them about the weather, right? For example, he should have read the room before making that joke. Reading the room is one of the most important social skills that you can have—being able to read or know the mood or what people are feeling. So a lot of times, and I'm sure you've seen this in a TV show, you'll see someone do something that's kind of inappropriate, and then someone else will say, “Dude, read the room.”

And lastly, we have the idiom water cooler conversation or water cooler talk. This is casual or informal conversations that coworkers have at work. Most jobs will have a [00:25:00] water fountain, a water cooler, or a water machine. And what happens a lot in companies here is that a few people will go at once to get water, and then they'll just stop and talk to each other. Sometimes they'll gossip, sometimes they'll tell secrets, or they'll just have light conversation. And so this is where the expression comes from—water cooler conversation or water cooler talk. So that's what this expression means, that's where it comes from. For example, we just had some water cooler talk about the latest episode of Stranger Things.

Well, guess what? You just learned 20 new popular vocabulary words that will help you speak English more naturally and with confidence. Before we end the episode, I wanna give you some homework. Here's your homework: I want you to pick seven to ten of the vocabulary words and [00:26:00] expressions that you just heard and make it your goal to use these words today or this week. Remember that listening is just the beginning. Hearing new information, new words, is step one. In order to really be able to use these words in your English, you want to use them and find opportunities to repeat them so that your brain can remember them. So download the study guide, and then you're gonna pick some words to use this week.

Well, that's a wrap for today's episode of The Real Life English with Gabby Podcast. Be sure to download today's study guide so that you can learn how to use this vocabulary confidently. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe for more weekly adventures in English learning. Also, I'd love to hear from you, so please leave me a review.

Thanks so much [00:27:00] for tuning in.